Ok so i am back briefly. Just wanted to vent some of my thoughts other than thinking about the huge bump that i am carrying around at the moment.

I am really struggling with my sister at the moment. I love her and i would never say that i think that she is struggling but i feel she has really lost her way.
She came over to see me last week. I havent really seen her much since being pregnant. She lives 5 mins away but that is another story.
She tells me she has been a rubbish sister. I dont correct her but tell her that i understand.
She has 3 children. 3 children that she doesnt seem to want to spend time with.
My impression is that they get in the way of her life. She doesnt have time for living.
I can’t sympathise as i can’t wait to have my baby and start really living with my children and having fun with them. And also getting my mobility back.  I cant wait to be able to play with my 2-year-old girlie as i feel she has really missed out on fun Mummy time since i have been quite poorly being pregnant and not able to play. She has been stuck in the house with me and i really feel for her.
For me, my life starts once my children are here. I am not saying its all about the kiddies. You dont just have children to surround your life around them. That can’t be healthy. It’s about getting that even balance.
You see, I, am a planner. I, am an organiser. I love planning and organising. I like to feel ready. Prepared. And that makes me happy to know that things are ready.
Dont get me wrong i am no Monica (from Friends). I just think that proper, planning, prevents, piss, poor, performance.
And i think that women over prepare because we always feel under prepared.
I am a fixit.
If we are out and need something i can usually think of something we can use, you know!. Im handy.

This is getting a bit off track.

My sister you see is not a planner. Not unless it involves spending time away with her husband away from the children.
She feels overwhelmed with the children as there is no organisation. No time management.
You have to have an even balance.
Time for Children, time for husband, time for you.
This all sounds like it is obvious but i understand how hard it is to have an even balance. And i am sure for a time, after the baby arrives i will find it hard to strike that balance too. But i do look at the bigger picture.
This is my plan – after carrying such a weight for so long i am taking time out to get myself well. The boy is paying for me to be a member of our local swimming pool. I get to go as much as i want every month. This fixes, for me, a few issues. Firstly i get to go out on my own which is just going to be such a huge thing. I passed my driving test whilst i was pregnant so, really, i have never been out in the car on my own. I have always had the baby with me. So to be free is something i dream about. Secondly i get to get fit the way i want. I really love swimming and just can’t wait to get in that pool. Thirdly, i get me time which is not only good for me but it is good for my family as i come back, refreshed, relaxed and ready.

Once i am feeling fitter, this fixes the husband time. I feel better about myself so spending time with the hubby is going to be better. (this is my theory anyway) Losing weight makes me feel sexy as i am sure it does with most women. I look forward to spending romantic times with my boy and feeling better about myself. It is very hard feeling huge when pregnant as it plays with our heads. Yes we are carrying a baby but it makes us feel fat. Well it has me.
Precious boy time has been lost. But i am planning to get this back.

The last plan is the children factor. Obviously i am juggling all of this at the beginning but i plan to home school. And i plan to plan this way in advance so that i can implement some of the school activities soon.
For instance. My daughter already sings in tune and loves to dance. She is really, really good at it. So this coming year i will be taking her to dance classes.
This makes me sound all rich doesnt it. This is not the case.
The boy and i have been discussing matters and we are going to approach his Dad about paying for classes.
The boys Dad, lives miles away, and buys our daughter lots of very big presents whenever he can which is quite often. We have two big presents sitting in our conservatory, unopened, waiting for the right time.
I dont believe in spoiling children and giving them huge presents just whenever.
I grew up not having much and it has taught me the value of things and to appreciate things much more.
My hubby, however, was brought up being given pretty much what he wanted. So i guess his Dad doesnt think anything of giving our daughter big presents (that are ideal for Christmas).
I think that his money would be better spent in other places. Like investing in dance lessons. Hubby agrees and we both think that Grandad will also agree.
This is one of the things that i have planned for the girl. Another is teaching her the recorder and having singing times. These are two things that i will do with her. I learnt a few instruments and plan to pass on my knowledge.
I am far from a pushy Mum. I just see the things that my child enjoys and will slowly start to develope in those areas.

So going back to my sister. She feels overwhelmed with all the activities that her eldest is doing in school.
Where we want the best for our children and we dont want to hold them back. You have to think is this the best thing, not only for the child but for the family.
Yes she enjoys running, but is this something she needs to do in an after school club?. Is it going to amount to anything?.
I am not saying deny your child of something she loves. But something obviously needs to give. Running can be done…. anywhere.
There are lots of other activities that she is doing and i dont want to put those down. I know that i want the best for my daughter and will want her to do as much as she is able. But it is not just about the child being worn down. It’s about the Mummy running around, getting the child to all the afterschool clubs.
My afterschool clubs, well as many as i can, will be fitted into my curriculum.
You see, it’s about being organised.

I really feel for my sister, she is losing it big time. All because of not being organised. This she is taking it out on having too many children, not the fact that she is not organise.
I am far from perfect. But isnt it better to have some sort of plan of action?. Esp when you have a family to run?.

Well i have recently come to the conclusion that after, it might just be 8 or 7 years now, that it is time to leave the blogging world for good.

Since starting up blogging i have – met ‘the one’, married the boy, bought a house and had my first child. Now i am pregnant with my second and time seems to be something that i just don’t have anymore. And what little time i have, i am just trying to have some to myself.

So this is goodbye. Its sad to leave but i have to be true and realise that this is not something that i can keep up.
Blogging has been brilliant. I have met and made some ace friends, made some true friends, got help when needed and advice and i have felt that blogging really was a part of my life.
Now it is time to move on to the next part of my life.
Maybe one day i will be back.
But for now this is it.

I will keep this open so that i can pop over and see everyone from time to time.

Lastly thank you for sharing times with me.

Slack slack slack that is what i have been when it comes to updating my blog.
I generally have excuses though and have been a tad busy. So here are a few things that have been keeping me busy.

1 – I passed my driving test. ‘whoop whoop’. Yes it has taken me a ages to get my act together to do it but finally i did it. My driving instructor (family friend) was ace and i passed on the first go. I was dead nervous but the test lady was lovely.
So that was Tuesday and since then i seem to be the new taxi driver in my little family.
People really don’t know what passing means to me. With a little girl and a very big bump this really frees me up. Not only that but if i get poorly in this pregnancy as the last then i can get myself to the hospital rather relying on my Mum as i couldn’t walk.
Wow driving has already become second nature.
I am very tired today though as the boys mum came down from Manchester and i was driving her here, there and everywhere. Then i drove 20 miles out of my home town to a ‘works’ BBQ. Its never ending driving.
Today, however, i have the afternoon off. I am taking the car and going out.
My sister in law is taking her test next Friday for the third time. I am so glad that i passed before her as i dont have the extra pressure.
Three times is a lot huh!. She said that if she fails again, she will just book another test for two weeks. How many tests can you keep doing?.

2 – I had my second scan. And i am finally announcing (well to you lot) that i am having a boy. I was totally convinced that i was having another girl and was all ready for a girl. So i have been selling all my pretty girlie things and getting boy things.
I have totally come to terms with having a boy now and am really excited about it. Name picked (secret for now) and i am knitting away with some funky boy colours. Trying to stay away from too much blue and going for greens and browns and funky stuff.
I downloaded lots of lovely patterns and am now sorted and ready. Whoop

3- Complaint letter. I think i might start a category for all my letter writing!. This time it was to TGI Fridays. Somewhere i work for 5 years.
In short – food cold and gross, shocking service, discusting toilets and no card machine.
I have been sent £100 voucher and had my ass kissed by the general manager for half hour on the phone.
Might be going out to dinner tonight!

4 – Been getting ready for the nex mission on my list. A family wedding.
I feel i am going to look like a big balloon on heels so have been trying to find some silver flat sandals to go with my dress. Harder than you think!.

And the last bit of news is.
I have 17 weeks before i give birth.

Recently on FB i asked people what they thought about homeschooling and my one little question seemed to create some controversy.
Peoples opinions were very interesting but reading them i was fully aware that it was theiropinion and their own fears.
People who shot it down instantly i felt, would problalby hate the idea as it all sounded a lot of hard work that they could never do.
And those that thought it was a good idea i felt, probably thought it sounded cute and fun.

So here is what i think and yes i would be interested in hearing your thoughts too. But trust me when i say i am not going into this with closed eyes. My eyes are very open and it is also something i am still considering.

So i am thinking about homeschooling my children up to the ages of 7. Just 7. Not any older as i don’t think that i could develop them anymore than the age of 7. 
Its got nothing to do with the schools really as they seem to be pretty good around here when the children are young enough.
Its got nothing to do with making friends either as that seems to be a lot of peoples argumentfor going to school – ” Its really important for children to make friends and have the social aspect of going to bigger school with their friends”. For me, i think this is a really poor excuse.
For one, my girl is very out going so friends is not going to be an issue and secondly this is another thing that i have considered as she will be doing out of school activities which will help with her social behaviour. Not to mention she has 6 cousins she See’s all the time and we attend church every week in which she has friends in.
Right so my main reason (and please remember this is my own thoughts and reasons and it does not at all have anything to do with other parents, and i do not think that sending other peoples children to school is a bad thing, this is something for me.) for considering this is – i had children to spend time with them and nurture them and that is what i want to do.
With all the skills i have obtained over the years why not put them to the best use ever possible, into the development of my children.

Stats show that children home schooled up to the age of 7 are generally very bright.
I know that classrooms can be pretty packed and i like the idea of one to one with my own child. I mean who better to discover what my little one is good at and develop it more and who better to discover what my little one is struggling with and pay more attention to it.
The curriculum that i will set is going to be very varied with lots of activities that school probably wouldn’t start until the children are a bit older if at all.
Its not about being a pushy mother, its about making it fun and more exciting. About learning and developing in a fun and exciting way that is memorable.

As i said before this is something that i am consideringand going into with open eyes. This may not work for our family at all, so maybe i will only do it for a year. I need to be open and aware of changes and if it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work and i gave it a good hard go of it.

I still have another year to think about this fully but for me and my family i think is the way forward.

All thoughts welcome.

So this will be a useful post for me hopefully as i have a problem that i need fixing and i am hoping that you can help.

The problem is cat and dog poop. In our front garden and i am sick of it.
As soon as i open my front door the front room and stairs smells of poo. I cant even open the front window as my whole house will smell of poo.
Our front garden is small and open so we don’t have a gate or fence but a little brick wall. And it seems to just welcome the poopers.

We have dug it over and put wood chipping stuff over it and this hasn’t stopped them. Grass will not help as it is such a small area.
I really begrudge having to go out and spending money on someone elses cat or dog by buying products to get rid of them so really want something that is free.

This is really getting me down and i need a solution.
Please help.

This morning my hubby and I were chatting in bed. We have decided to get to know one another better (oi cheeky).
We have decided to do a little list, just a list of 5 things. Things that we want to do before we die. Then this evening we are going to discuss them and think of possible ways of accomplishing some if not all of them.
I think that this will give us a deeper insight to what we think about and what we like.

Here is my list (just going to grab my fruit and nut bar)

1) Deep sea fishing. Lookie here if you have time. I just really have always wanted to do it and catch some big f off fish.

2) Visit the Sistine Chapel

I know the picture doesnt do it justice at all. I think it is just incredible. The amount of work.
I want to lie on the floor and just look for ages.

3) Learn Sign Language. I have always wanted to learn this. The only thing that holds me back is how expensive it is to take classes. How amazing to be able to communicate with your hands and with those who cant hear.

4) Travel the USA again. It was awesome the first time but i do remember thinking that i wanted someone to share the amazing experiences and sunset and sights with. I know that the next time i go it will be totally different but that is also the point.

5)  Go on a romantic break in a snow filled destination and stay in a log cabin with a lovely log fire and chill out.

Whats on your list?.

I have been suffering with terrible hay fever. For those of you that don’t get it. Really, you are so lucky. For those of us that do, the symptoms are – itchy red swollen eyes, sore throat, blocked and runny nose - mostly at the same time, headaches and the general feeling that you have flu.
For me i have found this increasingly difficult since i am suffering with this and being pregnant at the same time and i have been unable to take anything until i talk to my midwife or Doc.
So this morning i phoned up at 8 and booked myself in to see that Doctor as i couldn’t wait another week to see my appointment with the midwife.
9 was my appointment and the Doc was very sympathetic. I cant have the Strong dose of pills that i normally have, but that’s OK. So instead he gave me 2 packets of pills, a nasal spray and a 3 packs of eye drops. Yay. I am literally drugged up to the eyeballs.

 
After the Doctors and a little trip to the post office to post something to Liz Lemon the little one and i popped into Play and Learn so that she could run around and make a mess without me having to clean it up.
Somehow i managed to get paint all over me and come home with another painting for my fridge. I have always wanted my fridge full of children’s paintings and now i have to start sorting them and filing them away.
The girl decided that the blue paint didn’t really taste so nice and blew raspberries to get it out of her mouth which ended up splatter painting everywhere.

Next Tesco’s to pick up my drugs and stop off to watch a little demonstration from a funny little man trying to sell a slicer. I knew that i would get a freebie at the end and i was pleasantly surprised to receive a little gift early for answering a question correctly. I did look around me a few times and thought…. suckers. Its kinda a live shopping channel.

A sleep for the girlie after getting tuna mayo all on the floor, and a rest for me and a chance to catch up with my OK magazine once i cleaned the kitchen down, put all the things in the dishwasher and wafted a tea towel around like a mad women trying to get a couple of flies out of the house.

Still waiting on a reply for another complaint letter that i wrote.
*Thought* Considering setting up a complaints business.

Tea tonight dear?. Whatever you can find.

Second time around my dreams haven’t calmed down. In fact they are more weirder and random than ever.
So this was the conversation this morning.

The boy – I had a really weird dream last night

Me – oh me too. I dreamt that we were eating edible mirrored glass!

The boy – looks around in silence not really knowing what to say with eyebrows raised.

The boy – I dreamt that i was in an elite fighting force

Me – OK so mine is weirder. *thinks to myself* I am glad i didn’t tell him the rest of the dream.

Recently i just haven’t been able to face blogging. A lot has been going on and to be quite frank. I am tired. Of pretty much everything.

Other than growing a baby. Which is no mere feat i tell you. We have (we as in the boy and me) been pinning our hopes on moving to the house of our dreams.
We spotted it less than a week ago and we have been trying to get our hands on it.
But with a heavy heart i am letting you know that we just couldn’t pull it off. With selling ours, changing the mortgage, getting the fee’s together and all the extra stress – we just couldn’t do it.

So i am left with my scrapbook full of all the things i want to do to my perfect house. But no perfect house. I am so disappointed and feel totally rubbish about it.
I really needed something to look forward to other than a new baby.

The thing is recently i have also been feeling a little lost. Like i just don’t know who i am anymore.
I mean i know that i am a Mother and a Wife and – i like to say – domestic Goddess. But i seemed to have lost myself in the midst of it all. Do you know that i mean.?

What happened to me?. The creative one, the no ties, no plans, spontaneous, carefree, arty, fun, full of life. The person who could sit in a coffee shop and finish a book, take a walk late at night just coz i could?.
I just don’t get any time to myself.
And when i finally don’t have to share my bath with the pickle. I lay there thinking about all the things that i need to do or organise. My brain just doesn’t stop. And that is what i mean when i say i am tired.

This morning i received a little bag from Pinky. Its lovely and it totally made me feel like i was not worthy of such a thoughtful gift. It made me cry to think that someone was thinking of me. That little bag meant more than Pinky could imagine. I also though what a rubbish friend i probably am at the moment. Not that i am a selfish person. I am a real giving person. I just haven’t got time to do anything at the moment. And i love giving. It is part of me. And not being able to give. Makes me sad.

Right so this blog entry isnt the most cheerful of posts. So i will give a little update on the girl – She sat in the back of my Mums car and giggled and giggled with her 2 year old cousin. It brought joy to my heart.
Children are such a joy.

What a busy few weeks i have been having since Easter. I hardly know where to start and i know i will forget a lot of things. I have been thinking about blogging and think of a really good blog, then when it comes to it. I forget.
So we will see how this goes.

First a little picture

My little bunny on Easter day. …. Note our computer is a bit poorly at the mo so i cant adjust any photos.

I said if she could get into the box she could have it. Well she got into the box and found out how to eat it. lol.
Easter was good. We all squeezed around my sister kitchen table and had roast pork that had been cooking for 6 hours. It melted in the mouth and there was plenty of crackling to go around.

The other day we had to rush the little one to hospital. Early in the morning ( iwas still in bed) she was running into our bedroom away from Daddy and she fell and conked her head on our bed. It was awful.
Blood everywhere.
Luckly it just split open and she didnt loose any skin. As she was glued back together she screamed so loudly that i felt my heart was going to split.
We had a day at home, munching on chocolate and having snuggles. We have to keep it dry for a week and then the scab will fall off. I hope she doesnt get a scar.
I am obviously going to have the girl with scabs. As a few days later she tripped up and gave herself two nice big scabs on her knees too. This didnt make her cry and she found it highly amusing poking her scab as i said “poorly”. I stuck some magic cream on and a big plaster.

Since the sun has been shining

we have been sitting outside in the garden. The girl has been twirling in the sun and picking up mud. I even stripped her down and brought out a tub of water with some fun shaped things inside. She had an hour of fun just tipping the water out and playing with the bubbles.

Last week… or was it the week before?. Well anyhoo. I passed my driving theory test.
I totally didnt think i was going to pass at all and i was sooooo shocked when the lady pointed to the ‘congratulation’ bit, that i did a little dance and shouted yay. I also hugged the examiners. I dont think they have had someone so happy and relieved in there in a while. All the other people doing their exams just looked so unhappy.
So what a relief. Now time to get ready for my actual test.

Another busy week ahead. A new club to go to which will be nice as both my sisters go to it. Its nice for my girl to spend time with her cousins. She loves them.
Not much time for me to relax. But hopefully i will get a little rest on one of our deck chairs in the sun when the girl sleeps.

As usual i have been cooking new things. The latest is some cinnabons. Cinnamon swirls. They turned out amazingly. I am off to have one now.

Thats it from me. A little update until i remember what i was really going to blog about.