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The post before – the post!

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So it’s my birthday on Sunday. 

It’s a big one. 

For 4 decades I will have lived.

But this is the post before the post so you will have to wait.

its been an interesting morning. It always is when you have small children. 

I was rushing out the house trying to close the boys lunch box when my knee felt all wet. My husband hadn’t closed the boys drink properly. Juicy jeans not a great start. 

My Mum broke her leg last week, she slipped feeding the birds in her garden. My dad told her not to go outside. She isn’t even old. We’ll 60. But really that’s not old. 

I have organised her a meal rota. All her lovely friends are coming over and bring meals for her and Dad. She is finding it hard as she is such a giver, a nurse, who loves loving people and looking after them and now she is having people love on her and it’s a little overwhelming.

I went over and sorted her out lunch today. She asked me to clean inside her toes. Honestly this is just the worst job on earth for me. But I did it. 

she then asked me to go through all her tins and chuck out her gone off food. Yet another disgusting job. Which I did. I get the best jobs!.  I do love my Mum though and am happy to serve her. 

Tonight my hubby is out on a belated Christmas party. So I will be chilling with the kids and some yummy food. And then pack for an exciting weekend away :)

New beginnings

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You can find me here newblog

swimming close to the surface.

I am in a bit of a transitional time. I feel paper thin like I haven’t much to give right now.
I am constantly serving others. Its part of who I am. I enjoy doing it, I love doing it. Like I said it is apart of me and my identity.
I guess that sometimes I just sit back, when I am worn out and think it would be nice if people would notice me.

I also feel a bit under attack atm too.
Now I have God, I love God. He is my saviour and I am leaning on him for most of my troubles. Everything is about God and I’m not saying that he wouldn’t take this feeling away.
Honestly there are a few things getting me down.
1) A woman
2) My Dad

Firstly this woman. We will called her Jane. I haven’t done anything towards her to make her hate me. I previously spent time with her.
She is jealous of me. I am where she wants to be. Doing what she wants to be doing. Growing in my faith and going to the gym to get fit.
I am good friends with one of her ‘old friends’. She thinks I have taken her friend away. Oh gosh its all so pathetic and school play ground.
So I have kept my distance from her.
She speaks badly to me every time I am around her. Is rude about me. Gives me dirty looks and generally hates me.
The old me wouldn’t take her shit. I would be right in her face. But that is not me anymore.
I have been told to love her.
I cant. I am worn out with her bad behaviour. I am not going to the Children’s club we both go to anymore as I cant be around her attitude and vibe. She is a very negative person. And instead of being a friend who builds up. She tears down.

My Dad sent an email to all his Children slagging us off. It was sent out of anger as the plumber didn’t turn up. It really had nothing to do with us at all.
It hurt a lot. And I am worn out by his behaviour after him being like this my whole life.

So that’s where im at.
Worn out.
Paper thin
And trying to keep my head above water. Just for now.

That long

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Has it really been that long since I blogged?

From someone who used to be a regular blogger for 10 years to nothing it seems quite rare.
So just a quickie to start off.
Getting my business going
Getting fit at the gym
Hubby working away in Dublin for 3 months on and off
Beauboy now 3
Meekamoo now 5
Time flies :)

RAOK and the homeless

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I’m not one to really hand out money on the streets to homeless. The ones I have come across have been drunks or druggies in the past and I feel that giving them money will just end in them getting more booze or drugs.
Today however I was walking back from the coffee house with my daughter when we past a homeless man with a sign. It basically said. Homeless. Not on drugs or drinking. I looked and felt it was a pretty honest thing to put. We Walked past and stopped and I got my wallet out. Saw some coins and a fiver and told my daughter to put the fiver in the mans cup.
He seemed shocked. We smiled and went on our way.

It’s the little things that sometimes count. RAOK

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The little things like leparking aid parking ticket in themachine ready for the next person. I hope they were pleased.

Today I took my two munchkins to go see Father Christmas at a garden centre. I had heard that he was pretty good and free. Win win?

we waited in the cue patiently. Me patiently and the munchkins bribed with lolly pops. A lay opened the gate for us and I put £2 in their charity box. She seemed quite surprised. I think that many we’re putting money in it. I kinda thought that if they are providing such a lovely thing for the munchkins then a few pound isn’t much.

It turns out that Santa was ace and both munchkinscame away with free toys which I can’t even pry away.

On Tuesday I picked up my daughter from pre school. I ended up picking not only her up but a huge pumpkin. The school had scooped out the seeds that they wanted and were going to throw it away.

I took it home, made a huge batch of spiced, pumpkin scones and took them back into school the next day for the teachers and kiddies. Random and reused.

Tonight I am finishing my last hat for a girl in Africa and popping it in the post tomorrow.


The  last little thing was for the NSPCC. I ordered a free Christmas letter from Santa for my  munchin number 1.

I donated £5.00

Family and RAOK

One thing that I have come to realise over the years is that acts of kindness, random or not are most needed closer to home at times.

The only thing with these kind of acts is the aftermath.

Let me explain.

With totally random acts of kindness,vyou do your act, you see the shock and surprise sometimes and that’s it. You walk away and are left with a fuzzy kind of feeling. Knowing that you have blessed someone totally random.

Emotional but not close emotions.

Now with family or close friends, you not only see the aftermath. But when, later down the line, that person you blessed, upsets you. You are kinda left wondering, why did, or do, I bother.

This is not the reason random,acts of kindness are done of course.

But I’m human, and human tendancies are to be left hurt when things like this happen.

I never ask for thank you’s. I don’t give to get back.

But sometimes.

Those down days.

I am left feeling lonely and wonder why people dont do nice things for me.

Why is it always me doin the nice things.

And now I am left with the guilt.

Human emotions suck!

I know that I should never expect anything, and then when I am blessed, its amazing.

I know that I do not bless others to recieve back.

But boy I’m a bit worn out.

I feel that sometimes. And it’s a little sometimes. My family and friends take me for granted.

I would like to say stuff it, stuff you. But and a big but. This is not in my nature.

I’m a giver.

I enjoy giving.

I enjoy blessing.

I haven’t kept up writing down my random acts very well but most of the acts that I have been doing recently include quite a bit of baking.

A heart cake with glitter for my sister as she needed a bit of love.

A coffee and walnut cake for my church group.

Today a trip to Tescos and I will be leaving a few pound coins in the trolleys for people.


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